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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Just landed via TikTok:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Making waves on YouTube:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Going viral on Twitch:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Making waves on Facebook:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Going viral on Threads:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Making waves on YouTube:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about unpredictability, featuring playful words on weather and possibilities.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life always keeps you guessing like a weather forecast – one day sunny ☀️, the next day stormy ⛈️, and the day after who even knows? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the unpredictability and just go with the flow, just like the weatherman says – anything's possible! 🌈☔"

forecast, humor, i, identify, identity, possibility, randomness, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All roads lead to disappointment.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Shared recently on Slack:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Going viral on WeChat:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Going bananas on X:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Live now on LinkedIn:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

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