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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Making waves on Instagram:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about a quirky date, featuring playful imagery and a humorous vibe.

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Commentary:
Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

28 shares on Slack this month:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Just shared via YouTube:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Breaking via Threads:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Just shared via X:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Going viral on Threads:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

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Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨