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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,777

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Live now on Slack:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Going bananas on Reddit:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Live now on WeChat:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Trending via Messenger:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Just landed via X:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

1 month ago

Funny quote about a quirky date, featuring playful imagery and a humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

99 shares on Slack this month:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Just shared via Threads:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Just landed via Messenger:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Just landed via X:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Breaking via Messenger:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

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Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨