Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,946

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Seen just now on X:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Just landed via Instagram:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Trending via Slack:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Just landed via X:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Making waves on Reddit:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

0

2 months ago

awake, dead, humor, nice, situation, sleep, sleeping, win-win
It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

0

1 month ago

attitude, card, cards, game, got, hand, hidden, humor, humor quote, luck, metaphor, play, skill, strategy
Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

0

1 month ago

ads, death, free, humor, irony, sleep, trial
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

0

2 months ago

brain, distraction, doing, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, store, technology, used, wonder
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

0

1 month ago

ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s
“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

0

1 month ago

actually, comedy, daily, daily grind, fresh, frustration, grind, hell, humor, irony, repetition, same, sarcasm, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Being awake is the worst.

51 shares on Slack this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

73 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

61 shares on X this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

84 shares on Discord this month:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Trending via Messenger:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨