Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Shared recently on Discord:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Just shared via Instagram:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Going viral on Pinterest:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Trending via Instagram:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Trending via Messenger:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like they really know how to stir things up on a first date 😂🍴 Who knew gravy could be the key to romance? #GravyGoals

activity, date, date idea, drink, funny moment, glass, going, gravy, humor, i, idea, moment, quirky, quirky activity, shared, shared drink, straws, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Just shared via Facebook:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Making waves on Threads:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Seen just now on Slack:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Just landed via Messenger:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏