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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2034 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,196

Funny Quotes Topics

14,952

Funny Quotes Images

12,196

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Breaking via Threads:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Trending via LinkedIn:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Spreading quickly via X:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Just landed via Facebook:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Going viral on Reddit:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Just shared via Pinterest:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Trending via TikTok:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't hear your negativity over the sound of my music blasting 🎶🔊. My playlist is on full blast, so feel free to come back when you're ready to rock out with me! 😜🎧"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2034 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,196

Funny Quotes Topics

14,952

Funny Quotes Images

12,196

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Going viral on X:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Making waves on Messenger:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Just shared via WeChat:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Just landed via Telegram:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Freshly posted on X:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

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