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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,743

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Making waves on Twitch:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Going viral on Discord:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Breaking via Instagram:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about cleaning mishaps and mystery fridge items, with a playful, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the thrilling game of fridge archaeology! 🕵️‍♀️🦠 It's like a combo of CSI and Fear Factor, trying to identify mystery items and determine their expiry date…if they even had one! 🕰️🤢 Remember, when in doubt, just toss it out – safety first, adventurous spirit later! 🚮😅

challenge, clean, cleaning, expiration, food, fridge, fun, game, here, humor, i, kill, mystery, play

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Reddit this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

80 shares on Slack this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

80 shares on Facebook this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This whole week could have been an email.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting a new life today, bye.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Breaking via Facebook:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Going viral on Reddit:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Live now on Slack:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Just shared via Facebook:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Trending via Threads:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Spreading quickly via X:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Going viral on Instagram:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

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