Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • January is the Monday of the year.
  • A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.
  • Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.
  • 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.
  • 9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.
  • I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.