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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,849

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Spotted on Facebook:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Trending via Pinterest:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Trending via Threads:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Broadcasted on X:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Just landed via Facebook:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

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I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Ah, the infamous 'Keep me signed in' button – a mysterious trap set by websites to test our memory and patience! It's like they're saying, 'Sure, we'll keep you signed in… until you accidentally close the tab or blink too long!' 😂 It's the ultimate test of human reliability in the digital age – a challenge we never seem to conquer! Who needs a personal assistant when we have this ominous button to keep us on our toes, right?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

99 shares on Slack this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,804

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Live now on TikTok:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Just shared via Telegram:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Trending via Slack:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

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