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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

58 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Going viral on Instagram:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just landed via TikTok:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Going viral on Threads:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Trending via Slack:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Making waves on Slack:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

5 months ago

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "Ah, the infamous 'Keep me signed in' button – a mysterious trap set by websites to test our memory and patience! It's like they're saying, 'Sure, we'll keep you signed in… until you accidentally close the tab or blink too long!' 😂 It's the ultimate test of human reliability in the digital age – a challenge we never seem to conquer! Who needs a personal assistant when we have this ominous button to keep us on our toes, right?

bullshit, button, computer, convenience, every, humor, i, internet, irony, just, keep, love, me, signed, signed in, straight, website

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

58 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Trending via Instagram:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Trending via Threads:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Going viral on Slack:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

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