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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Trending via Threads:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Live now on Instagram:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Breaking via Facebook:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

4 days ago

Witty quote about hiding hunger with a playful, relatable inner struggle.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggles of the perpetual snacker! Always appearing put together on the surface, but beneath it all, a rumbling tummy ready to make its demands known. It's a tale as old as time – the eternal battle between the hunger pangs and the illusion of composure."

appearance, craving, fine, food, hunger, hungry, inside, joke, outside, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

70 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

48 shares on Threads this month:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Making waves on Telegram:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Spotted on Messenger:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Just shared via Instagram:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Spotted on X:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Just shared via Discord:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

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