Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Making waves on Slack:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

I need a massage for my brain.

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I need a massage for my brain.
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Commentary:
"Ah, a brain massage is the perfect remedy for those hard-to-reach knots of information and stress! 🤯💆‍♂️ Let's work those neurons and give your brain the relaxation it deserves! Who knew mental tension could be so therapeutic?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

31 shares on TikTok this month:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

97 shares on Slack this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

35 shares on Slack this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday could have been an email.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Spotted on Discord:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Spotted on TikTok:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Trending via YouTube:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Live now on Twitch:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

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