Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Trending via Discord:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Spotted on Telegram:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

I need a massage for my brain.

1 month ago

Witty text about needing relaxation, featuring playful humor about brain massage.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, a brain massage is the perfect remedy for those hard-to-reach knots of information and stress! 🤯💆‍♂️ Let's work those neurons and give your brain the relaxation it deserves! Who knew mental tension could be so therapeutic?"

brain, humor, i, massage, need, relaxation, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Reddit this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

18 shares on Discord this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

37 shares on WeChat this month:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

65 shares on Threads this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Making waves on Messenger:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Just landed via Messenger:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Just shared via Slack:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

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