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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

23 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Trending via YouTube:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Trending via Twitch:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

6 months ago

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like your electricity bill is trying to brighten up your day! ☀💡 Looks like they're charging you for all types of light sources, including the divine kind. Better watch out for that next bill – they might start invoicing you for moonlight and starlight too! 🌟✨ #LightingUpYourExpenses

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share → : I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.
6 months ago
Share → : Donating blood today to make room for more food.
6 months ago
Share → : I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
6 months ago
Share → : The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.
6 months ago
Share → : Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.
5 months ago
Share → : The only way to my heart is with a knife.
2 months ago
Share → : I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.
5 months ago
Share → : My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

762 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,924

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,924

23 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Broadcasted on Slack:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Trending via Twitch:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Trending via TikTok:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Trending via TikTok:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Trending via Pinterest:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

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