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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Just landed via Threads:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Reported on Telegram:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Making waves on Instagram:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Just landed via X:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Spotted on Telegram:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Just shared via Facebook:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like even God couldn't resist showing off his greatest creation—Pedro Pascal! 🌟💁‍♂️ Who can blame Him? I mean, have you seen that charismatic smile and those acting skills? 😏🌟 #PedroPascalIsDivinelyGifted"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Trending via TikTok:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Breaking via Facebook:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Just shared via Telegram:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Just shared via Threads:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Making waves on Discord:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Just landed via X:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

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