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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Seen just now on X:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Trending via Instagram:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Breaking via X:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

2 months ago

0

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the ancient Starbucks ritual of summoning the barista's creativity with a perplexing order 😄🔮 It's like a caffeinated incantation meant to bring forth the ultimate fusion of flavors in a cup! Just remember to add a side of magical sprinkles and a pinch of unicorn dust for good measure! 🦄☕✨

barista, coffee, drink, foam, grande, hexagon, humor, hypothesis, i, ice, iced, iced mocha, just, mocha, no foam, order, people, random, random words, say, Starbucks, swear, vortex, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

0

2 months ago

bright, Christmas, help, humor, me, night, nose, phone, Rudolph, tonight
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

0

2 months ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

0

2 months ago

am, car, dating, delivery, done, food, food delivery, humor, job, people, priorities, relationships, sites
If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

0

2 months ago

catholic, Catholic Church, church, crime, crime story, history, humor, i, recommend, recommendation, religious, religious history, story, true, true crime
If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

0

2 months ago

dance, drinking, home, humor, me, music, nightlife, party, playing, push, song, take
“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

0

2 months ago

acquaintance, fire, frustration, humor, i, know, media, people, set, social, social media, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a yearning disability.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Drive like no one is watching.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love people who are fluent in Spongebob references.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Trending via TikTok:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Going bananas on WeChat:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Shared recently on Discord:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Going viral on Discord:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Live now on WhatsApp:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Trending via Pinterest:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

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