Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.
  • I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.
  • No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.
  • She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.
  • Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.
  • I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.