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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."

away, food, humor, i, joke, leftover, old, think, throw, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

1 month ago
clumsiness, embarrassment, face, fall, faster, hand, humble, humor, nothing, phone, slip, slipping, technology
My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

2 months ago
beautiful, beautiful side, circle, everyone, family, humor, i, mom, perspective, self-deprecation, side
An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

1 month ago
adult, age, humor, life, noise, person, stand
If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

1 month ago
Earth, flat, flat earth, Flat Earther, gravity, humor, joke, jump, people, perspective
I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

1 month ago
activity, disbelief, exercise, head, humor, i, physical, physical activity, sarcasm, shaking, shaking head
The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

1 month ago
eat, eating, forbidden, forbidden knowledge, gel, humor, knowledge, me, silica, silica gel, suspicion, told

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Just landed via YouTube:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Making waves on X:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Spotted on Threads:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Seen just now on Messenger:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Making waves on X:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

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Activity Log ✨

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

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I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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