Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."

away, food, humor, i, joke, leftover, old, think, throw, waste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

0

2 months ago

answer, being, calling, humor, i, number, people, phone, polls, reason, skepticism, trust, unknown, unknown number
You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

0

2 months ago

donate, fundraising, humor, joke, just, marathon, money, never, people, run, sarcasm, should, take
It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

0

2 months ago

always, cute, emotions, fire, house, humor, irony, mad, relationship
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

0

5 months ago

ask, conversation, excuse, got, honesty, humor, i, interaction, lying, media, outside, people, social, social interaction, social media, telling
My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, child, furniture, guess, humor, i, next, pancakes, parenting, sticking, sticky, syrup, week
Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

0

1 month ago

attack, bolt, dinner, dinner table, family, family dinner, funny attack, holiday, holiday meal, lightning, lightning bolt, meal, table, Thanksgiving, uncle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

82 shares on X this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

50 shares on X this month:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Shared recently on X:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨