Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Seen just now on Slack:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Seen just now on Instagram:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Just landed via Reddit:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

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I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.
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Commentary:
Well, if Lynyrd Skynyrd's influence is to blame for all those extra Ys in names, maybe they were just really big fans of alphabet soup! 🍲🤣 Say goodbye to simple names like Bob and Sally, and hello to Brynly and Skyylynn! Just blame it on Lynyrd Skynyrd and rock on! 🎸🤘

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

25 shares on Threads this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

17 shares on X this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Making waves on Pinterest:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Making waves on X:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Breaking via Discord:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Just landed via TikTok:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

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