I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

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Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

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I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

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I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

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Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

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Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

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I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

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I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

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My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

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Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

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If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.