I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce. Posted on15 hours ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:"Who knew a cocktail shaker could be replaced by divorce papers? 🍸💔 Sometimes the best tonic for life's troubles is a little separation on the rocks! Cheers to newfound freedom! 🥂 #DivorceDecisions" Related Funny Quotes 🤝 I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.” When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk. “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong. I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.