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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Making waves on Telegram:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Making waves on Telegram:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Trending via Telegram:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

2 months ago

0

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'icebreaker' move – setting the stage for awkward oversharing since forever! 🙈 Next time, perhaps we can just stick to the usual names and job titles…unless someone wants to reveal their secret talent of eating an entire pizza in one sitting! 🍕😄"

awkward, conversation, humor, i, nice, oh, ourself, room, round, say, social, thought, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

0

5 months ago

bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think
If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

0

2 months ago

communication, fine, humor, relationship, trouble, warning
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

0

2 months ago

accordion, humor, instrument, joke, musical, musical instrument, sentence, survey, unnoticed, wordplay
Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

0

2 months ago

everything, fun, funnier, humor, inappropriate, laughter, quiet, situation, times
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

0

2 months ago

argue, communication, fast, female, humor, relationship, reply
What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

0

5 months ago

able, around, before, being, eyeglass, eyesight, half, history, humor, just, observation, people, question, vision, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

50 shares on Slack this month:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

69 but we both just farting.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Just landed via Facebook:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Going viral on Threads:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Just shared via X:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Going viral on Instagram:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Making waves on Twitch:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

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