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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wellness and indulgence – donuts always seem to win, don't they? 🍩💪 #YogaVsDonuts #DonutLifeBalance"

donut, exercise, fitness, going, humor, i, indulgence, procrastination, snack, today, yoga

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

4 weeks ago

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My last straw is way longer than I thought.

4 weeks ago

expectation, frustration, humor, last, limit, patience, perspective, straw, surprise, thought
Life is too short, and death is too long.

4 weeks ago

contemplation, death, existential, humor, irony, life, short, too
A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

4 weeks ago

ago, couple, digital, digital life, escape, humor, internet, irony, life, media, modern, modern life, real, real world, social, social media, technology, today, world
Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

4 weeks ago

anyone, awkwardness, banana, contact, eat, eating, etiquette, eye, eye contact, food, food etiquette, humor, i, social, social awkwardness, while
Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

4 weeks ago

95, aging, brain, computer, feel, humor, i, mental, mental state, outdated, running, software, sometimes, state, still, system, technology, Windows, Windows 95

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

23 shares on TikTok this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Spotted on TikTok:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Going bananas on Slack:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Making waves on X:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Making waves on TikTok:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Life is too short, and death is too long.

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨