Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wanting to be mysterious and the inability to filter our thoughts! 🤐 It's like trying to keep a lid on a pot of boiling pasta… you know it's gonna spill over eventually! 😜 Embrace your inner chatterbox, my friend – your honesty is the real mystery! 🤫✨"

humor, i, just, keep, mouth, mystery, personality, shut, unfortunately, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

5 days ago
era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless
Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

4 months ago
drinking, fill, funny question, glass, glass size, humor, large, question, size, top, why, wine, wine glass
Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

1 month ago
answering, anxiety, anxious, apology, communication, email, humor, i, ignored, late, late response, minutes, procrastination, response, spending, three, weeks
If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

1 month ago
animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding
Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

1 month ago
absurdity, fun, genocide, hashbrown, humor, interaction, media, online, online interaction, responsible, sarcasm, say, social, social media, someone, tweet, Twitter
Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

1 month ago
apples, bag, careful, fitness, grocery, heavy, humor, journey, just, market, me, relationship, update, wife

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Shared recently on X:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Spreading quickly via X:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

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I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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