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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2068 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,230

Funny Quotes Topics

14,974

Funny Quotes Images

12,230

5 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Shared recently on Threads:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Just landed via YouTube:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending via TikTok:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Going viral on WeChat:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Live now on Instagram:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Breaking via X:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Live now on Telegram:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Spotted on X:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

6 months ago

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wanting to be mysterious and the inability to filter our thoughts! 🤐 It's like trying to keep a lid on a pot of boiling pasta… you know it's gonna spill over eventually! 😜 Embrace your inner chatterbox, my friend – your honesty is the real mystery! 🤫✨"

humor, i, just, keep, mouth, mystery, personality, shut, unfortunately, wish

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2068 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,230

Funny Quotes Topics

14,974

Funny Quotes Images

12,230

5 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Just landed via YouTube:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Reported on WeChat:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Just landed via Instagram:

I was dropped as an adult.

Trending via Discord:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Trending via Instagram:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Spotted on Reddit:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Live now on Discord:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

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