Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me to someone who can't hide their chaotic energy: 'My inner pattern detective is having a meltdown thanks to you 🕵️‍♂️🚨 Maybe we can find some balance between your chaos and my compulsive need for order?' 😂"

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

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2 months ago

activity, company, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, isolation, lights, lonely, movie, put, solitude
Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

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2 months ago

aging, favorite, favorite item, getting, getting older, having, humor, item, older, pen, preferences, stationery
I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

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2 months ago

awkward, casual, exactly, guy, humor, i, identity, joke, love, name, wordplay
Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

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2 months ago

avoidance, bitch, conversation, conversations, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, resting, resting bitch face, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want
38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

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2 months ago

being, car, dad, else, family, humor, humor quote, looking, parenting, patience, sitting, stereotype, waiting, watch
First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

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2 months ago

activity, awkward, awkward moments, date, exactly, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, icebreaker, idea, minutes, moments, person, phones, relationship, surprise, switch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

62 shares on Telegram this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

50 shares on WeChat this month:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

49 shares on Discord this month:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Going bananas on WeChat:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Making waves on Instagram:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨