Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me to someone who can't hide their chaotic energy: 'My inner pattern detective is having a meltdown thanks to you 🕵️‍♂️🚨 Maybe we can find some balance between your chaos and my compulsive need for order?' 😂"

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

0

2 months ago

balance, happy, happy scientist, humor, laboratory, mad, mad scientist, note, positivity, put, reminder, science, scientist, sometimes
What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

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2 months ago

baby, before, hands, hold, humor, multitasking, nostalgia, parenting, parents, phone, phones, smart, smart phone, something, technology
Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

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2 months ago

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress
Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

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2 months ago

attitude, comedy, destruction, great, humor, i, irony, mind, object, sarcasm, sentiment, smash, value
Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

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2 months ago

bad, being, diet, enjoyment, follow, food, humor, irony, lifestyle, loss, self-control, weight, weight loss
Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

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2 months ago

band, favorite, font, heavy, heavy metal, Helvetica, humor, joke, metal, sounds, typography

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

41 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

77 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

37 shares on X this month:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Trending via YouTube:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Going bananas on Discord:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Spotted on Slack:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Just landed via YouTube:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Seen just now on X:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨