Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me to someone who can't hide their chaotic energy: 'My inner pattern detective is having a meltdown thanks to you 🕵️‍♂️🚨 Maybe we can find some balance between your chaos and my compulsive need for order?' 😂"

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

0

2 months ago

crazy, entertaining, entertainment, epigenetic, epigenetic memory, fire, memory, open, open fire, real, shit, stare
I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

0

4 months ago

beating, better, conversation, dead, dead horse, friendship, girl, girls, horse, humor, i, letting, love, never, night, nothing, peace, rehash, rest, Saturday, Saturday night
I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

0

2 months ago

frustration, future, got, headache, humor, sarcasm
I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

0

2 months ago

advertising, alcohol, company, customers, drunk, drunk person, humor, i, irony, marketing, never, person, seen, shame
A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

0

2 months ago

buy, clothes, fashion, humor, irony, lot, money, need, people, perception, right, shopping, think, wealth
Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

finds, gift, humor, irony, just, new, person, tomorrow, umbrella

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Live now on Messenger:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Trending via Messenger:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨