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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

44 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Going viral on Twitch:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Spotted on Instagram:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Just shared via Telegram:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

6 months ago

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐱😾 "I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then." 🏠💸

Looks like you've stumbled into a feline version of the United Nations discussing economic matters! Who knew that cats had such strong opinions on financial responsibilities? Maybe it's time to start a purr-sonal finance committee with your furry friends! 😹

cat, cats, communication, frustration, humor, i, me, mortgage, okay, pay, pet, yell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

44 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Trending via Slack:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Trending via Slack:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Trending via WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Trending via WeChat:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Spotted on X:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Trending via Reddit:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

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