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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Just landed via Reddit:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Trending via Facebook:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Trending via Telegram:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about pet drama and financial frustration, with playful, sarcastic humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐱😾 "I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then." 🏠💸

Looks like you've stumbled into a feline version of the United Nations discussing economic matters! Who knew that cats had such strong opinions on financial responsibilities? Maybe it's time to start a purr-sonal finance committee with your furry friends! 😹

cat, cats, communication, frustration, humor, i, me, mortgage, okay, pay, pet, yell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Going bananas on Threads:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Shared recently on Threads:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Trending via Pinterest:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Trending via Pinterest:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Trending via YouTube:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

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