Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Spotted on Messenger:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Trending via YouTube:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just landed via Slack:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Just shared via Slack:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Going viral on Threads:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, why settle for half when you can have the whole celestial shebang, right? 🌕🚀 Dream big and aim for the full moon experience – it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip that's always worth the round-trip ticket! 🌟😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Making waves on Threads:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Going viral on X:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Just landed via Instagram:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴