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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Spotted on Instagram:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Live now on Facebook:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Making waves on TikTok:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Going viral on Instagram:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Let's hope her selfie game is shockingly good! ⚡️💁‍♀️ Remember, compliments are a girl's best defense against electrocution, folks! 😉 #selfieprotection"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Just landed via Telegram:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Shared recently on WeChat:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Just landed via Discord:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just shared via Discord:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Trending via Telegram:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

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