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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

601 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,194

Funny Quotes Topics

17,328

Funny Quotes Images

15,194

Dec 30, 2025

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Seen just now on TikTok:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Just shared via YouTube:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Making waves on Reddit:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

2 months ago

0

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤔💀🧛‍♂️ Let's see: if a zombie and a vampire decide to have a little nibble on each other, would it be a battle of the bites? 🧟‍♂️💉 Who do you think would come out as the new creature in town – a bite-sized pondering mystery indeed! 🤪🌕

bite, conflict, humor, mythology, question, transformation, vampire, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

0

2 months ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

0

2 months ago

brain, daydreaming, distraction, diversion, humor, i, me, mental, mental diversion, multiple, multitasking, overthinking, quest, side, side quest, sorry, story, zoning, zoning out
Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

0

5 months ago

attitude, crazy, definitely, going, here, humor, match, me, mindset, personality, please, rational, us
No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, doing, employment, gap, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, moment, question, resume, tell
Not my room, not my elephant.

0

3 months ago

elephant, humor, indifference, responsibility, room
Why read the room when you can leave the room?

0

2 months ago

cues, humor, leave, leaving, read, room, sarcasm, social, social cues, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

601 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,194

Funny Quotes Topics

17,328

Funny Quotes Images

15,194

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Shared recently on Threads:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Spotted on Pinterest:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Trending via Reddit:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

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