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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Making waves on YouTube:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Going viral on TikTok:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Just shared via Messenger:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Trending via YouTube:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about fruit puns, encouraging you to move on if unappreciated.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If he can't handle your fruit puns, it's time to peach out 🍑🤣 Let him find someone else to grape about!"

Feel free to reach out if you need any more puns or jokes!

fruit, humor, joke, let, let go, mango, need, pun, puns, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

11 shares on Slack this month:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Just landed via WeChat:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Just landed via X:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Just landed via Twitch:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Making waves on Slack:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Breaking via Threads:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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