If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

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Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

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My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

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I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

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A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

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I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

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Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

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That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

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My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

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If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

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“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.