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Commentary:
"If I were a billionaire, forget Mars, I'd have everyone else waving goodbye from my rocket-built private island in outer space! 🚀🏝️ #SpaceAintBigEnoughForUsAll"

billionaire, Earth, else, escape, everyone, humor, i, leave, Mars, rockets, satire, space, space travel, travel, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

2 months ago

always, anger, being, buy, daily, daily struggle, eat, hard, humor, lose, loss, relatable, shopping, slap, someone, something, struggle, sweet, sweets, want, weight, weight loss, woman
I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

2 months ago

actually, couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, me, procrastination, protection, under, workout
Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

2 months ago

cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try
Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, Beyoncé, career, celebrity, conversation, fan, Goldmember, humor, i, just, meeting, moment, music, nothing
When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

2 months ago

change, funny idea, hour, humor, i, idea, politics, president, time
Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

2 months ago

adventure, anything, curiosity, exploration, fun, going, hole, rabbit, rabbit hole, request, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Seen just now on Slack:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Making waves on Slack:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Going viral on YouTube:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Trending via Instagram:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Just shared via Reddit:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hope this email kills us both.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨