If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.