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Commentary:
"If human behavior doesn't improve, I might just end up saving puppies with my spare parts 🐶🏥 Who knew the animal shelter could use a human organ donor? 🤣 #GoodDeedsGoneToTheDogs"

animal, animal shelter, bad, bad behavior, behavior, donation, humor, i, irony, organ, organ donation, organs, people, sarcasm, shelter

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46 shares on WeChat this month:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

11 shares on X this month:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

33 shares on X this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Seen just now on Threads:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Seen just now on X:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Live now on Pinterest:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

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If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

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Wordgag ツ

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If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨