Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.
  • Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.
  • I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.
  • What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?
  • Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.
  • Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.