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Commentary:
"Patience is a virtue… that I don't have time for! ⏳⌛️ Don't make me wait longer than it takes to microwave popcorn for the dramatic conclusion! 🍿😂"

better, end, expectation, five, humor, me, patience, seconds, tell, time, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

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2 months ago

childhood, cord, cords, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, phone, phones, reach, restriction, school, technology
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

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2 months ago

diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

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2 months ago

day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed
A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

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2 months ago

coach, education, football, history, humor, lot, misunderstanding, politics, teacher, understand
All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

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2 months ago

advice, humor, irony, learned, learning, lesson, lessons, life, life lesson, observation, people, self-reflection, watching
I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

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2 months ago

chakra, court, honor, humor, i, neglect, root, root chakra, self-care, spirituality, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Making waves on Threads:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Trending via X:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Just shared via Twitch:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Going viral on X:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Going viral on Slack:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Going viral on Telegram:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨