If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Commentary:
β€œWhen you show someone the year they can retire, it’s like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality πŸ˜±πŸ’ΈπŸ’Ό Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!”

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

    Commentary:
    β€œSocializing: the only activity where the highlight is actually the exit πŸ˜‚πŸ‘‹ #IntrovertLife”

  • Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

    Commentary:
    β€œLooks like you’ve got a keen eye for humor! πŸ‘οΈπŸ˜„ Who needs a vision test when all you really need is to see the eye doctor, right? πŸ€“πŸ‘€ Here’s to the other 10% of the test…may it be as clear as your eyesight after a check-up! πŸ˜‰πŸ”β€

  • Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

    Commentary:
    β€œRemember, the β€˜no hitting coworkers’ policy is non-negotiable πŸš«πŸ‘Š Even if some seem to test the limits of your patience πŸ™„ Just double-checked with HR, and yep, still a firm no-go. Sorry, folks! πŸ˜… #OfficeEtiquette”

  • This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

    Commentary:
    β€œOh, you mean the world-renowned Museum of Temporary Cleanliness? πŸ˜‚ Don’t worry, you’ll catch the next exhibit titled β€˜The Great Clutter Comeback.’ πŸ›οΈπŸ§Ήβ€

  • I end all my sentences with β€œJust saying..” because ending them with β€œYou bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

    Commentary:
    β€œCareful with those sentence endings! πŸ™Š It’s all fun and games until someone gets called a bonehead. Just saying.. πŸ˜‰β€

  • If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

    Commentary:
    β€œBecause let’s face it, those ladies would have my killer behind bars quicker than my pizza delivery guy finding my house πŸ•πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ” #PodcastDetectives #CrackingCasesBetweenCoffeeBreaks”