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Commentary:
"When you show someone the year they can retire, it's like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!"

check, cry, goal, humor, just, life, life goal, reality, reality check, retirement, sad, sad truth, show, someone, truth, year

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95 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

21 shares on X this month:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

52 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just landed via Twitch:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Just landed via YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Just landed via YouTube:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Seen just now on YouTube:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Going viral on X:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Just shared via Threads:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Breaking via WeChat:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

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Activity Log ✨

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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