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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Going viral on Discord:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Going viral on Facebook:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Shared recently on Reddit:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Just shared via Facebook:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Going bananas on Reddit:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Shared recently on Threads:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

2 months ago

0

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old parenting hack – the elusive art of distraction! 🧺📚 Tell a teen to fold laundry and suddenly math problems seem like a piece of cake! 🤣 Who knew chores could be the homework motivation we've all been searching for? 🤷‍♂️ #ParentingWin"

advice, chores, finish, fold, funny advice, homework, household, household chores, laundry, parenting, procrastination, teen, tell, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

0

2 months ago

fizzics, funny name, groundbreaking, humor, mr., Mr. Pepper, name, only, pepper, pun, research, science
Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, buzzing, discomfort, even, irony, moment, mosquito, nature, silence, worse
If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

0

2 months ago

bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish
I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

0

2 months ago

admire, area, audacity, beaver, boldness, here, humor, i, just, lake, move, nature, neighbors, new, put, say, screw
The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, last, money, month, procrastination, running, spending
It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, boss, employee, employees, humor, insane, job, motivation, office, paycheck, reason, truly, work, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

26 shares on Discord this month:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

God saw you do that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Live now on Discord:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Just landed via Discord:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Trending via Discord:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Live now on Messenger:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

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