Random Funny Quotes

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.
  • There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.
  • The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.
  • I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.
  • I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.
  • Why are they called β€œgrammar Nazis” and not β€œthe Gestypo”?