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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Shared recently on Discord:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Just shared via Slack:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.
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Commentary:
Oh, please! 🍌👵🏼 Those bananas have seen more life than a 20-year-old claiming tiredness! 😂 Time to peel away those excuses and embrace youthful energy! 💪 #BananasOverMillennials

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Spotted on Slack:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Going viral on Slack:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Going viral on Messenger:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Just shared via Instagram:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Breaking via Threads:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Spotted on Slack:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

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