Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Hey, if you're gonna walk a mile in my shoes, might as well track those steps and see how many calories you burn! 🚶‍♂️👟💪 #FitBitFashionista"

exercise, FitBit, fitness, going, humor, lifestyle, perspective, sh, walk, walking, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

0

6 months ago

birthday, birthday wish, born, buying, celebration, gift, humor, i, myself, nice, personal, personal treat, self-care, shopping, something, today, treat, wish
I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

0

2 months ago

boss, caught, i, kid, kids, later, me, minutes, office, outside, pot, prank, smoking, smoking pot, workplace
I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, design, furniture, humor, i, inconvenience, issue, movement, moves, rush, take
Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, creativity, daily, daily life, humor, life, me, new, problems, relief, solutions, solve, stress, stress relief
If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

0

2 months ago

activity, bump, clumsiness, definitely, friendship, humor, i, just, know, line, straight, straight line, together, walk, walking
If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

0

2 months ago

before, broke, customer, customer service, fault, humor, Mary, nice, patience, retail, retail worker, service, shopping, today, waters, worker

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Live now on TikTok:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Trending via YouTube:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Making waves on YouTube:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Just landed via YouTube:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Spotted on X:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Live now on Instagram:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Just shared via Discord:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨