Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of motherhood – where a full-body cast starts looking like a spa day 🧘‍♀️💆‍♀️ Take a deep breath, mama – relaxation comes in many forms! 😅👶 #MomLife #SpaDayOrERDay"

body, body cast, cast, full, going, humor, i, looks, motherhood, parenting, relaxation, relaxing, sarcasm, show, someone, TV, TV Show, watching, wondering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

0

2 months ago

cabinet, humor, i, insomnia, joke, medicine, medicine cabinet, pill, silence, sleeping, sleeping pill, tiptoe, wake, want
I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

0

3 months ago

brave, bravery, choice, different, food, food choice, humor, kind, menu, order, restaurant, something
The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

0

2 months ago

activity, building, culture, drinking, exercise, fun, happy, happy hour, hour, i, office, office culture, only, team, team building, work, working
Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

0

2 months ago

activity, catch, catch up, day, friend, fun, fun activity, heat, hottest, hottest day, interest, pool, socializing, summer, year
I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

0

2 months ago

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

28 shares on X this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Spotted on X:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Just landed via Instagram:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Making waves on Instagram:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Shared recently on Slack:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Spotted on Slack:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨