Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of motherhood – where a full-body cast starts looking like a spa day 🧘‍♀️💆‍♀️ Take a deep breath, mama – relaxation comes in many forms! 😅👶 #MomLife #SpaDayOrERDay"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

1 week ago

behind, being, communication, everything, exactly, hidden, hidden meaning, humor, i, individuality, knows, love, mean, meaning, only, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, unfortunately
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

2 months ago

around, ask, awkward, awkward question, bag, corner, difference, dude, family, family life, funny moment, height, height difference, humor, life, moment, much, open, parenting, popcorn, question, sitting, snack, surreal, taller, teenager, walk
If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

2 months ago

around, bit, entertainment, flight, fly, humor, movie, notification, pick, pilot, time, travel
Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

6 months ago

comparison, cooperation, fitted, fitted sheet, hard, humor, just, matter, never, relationship, sheet, try, woman, women
I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

2 months ago

eyes, fitness, great, great shape, humor, i, joke, keep, rolling, self-care, shape
I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

4 months ago

confusion, grammar, humor, identity, know, me, misunderstanding, most, people, punctuation, semicolon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on WeChat this month:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

94 shares on Discord this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Going viral on Instagram:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Just shared via Facebook:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Just shared via Reddit:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Just landed via WeChat:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨