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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Going viral on Slack:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Live now on Slack:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Trending via Discord:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Making waves on YouTube:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Spotted on X:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

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I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.
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Commentary:
"Breaking news – local resident announces bold holiday plans to 'be home for Christmas' 🎄🏠 Turns out, it's the ONLY logical destination for some festive cheer! Who would've thought? 🤷‍♂️ #ObviousChoice #HomeSweetHome"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

44 shares on X this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

81 shares on X this month:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready to try another planet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Making waves on Threads:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Trending via Telegram:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on WeChat:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just landed via X:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

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