Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Breaking via Threads:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Spotted on Messenger:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Trending via Telegram:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Trending via TikTok:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we're getting a live update from the psych ward! 👀 Who needs therapy when you've got wifi, am I right? 🤪 #Priorities"

communication, guys, health, humor, know, let, media, mental, mental health, psych, psych ward, social, social media, technology, ward, wifi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

0

2 months ago

bag, candy, commentary, humor, i, joke, M&M, social, social commentary, woke, wordplay
A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

0

2 months ago

advances, bed, companionship, dog, every, humor, hurt, i, man, me, rejection, relationships, time
I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

0

2 months ago

burial, business, correct, cremation, customer, customer service, customers, fired, funeral, funeral home, home, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, misunderstanding, service, smoking, term, wanted, workplace
I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

0

4 months ago

epiphany, every, humor, i, motivation, need, night, self-improvement, turn
This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

0

2 months ago

confrontation, cop, going, humor, illegal, illegal parking, lights, me, parked, parking, police, sarcasm, say, something, traffic
Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

0

2 months ago

career, degree, funny career, Groundhog, having, humor, imagine, irony, meteorologist, prediction, profession, prophecy, science, science degree, unexpected, unexpected profession, weather, weather prediction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Going viral on Threads:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Just landed via Facebook:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Going viral on Threads:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨