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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2014 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,176

Funny Quotes Topics

14,932

Funny Quotes Images

12,176

3 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Seen just now on Discord:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Just shared via WeChat:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Going viral on X:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

6 months ago

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Self-checkout: where speeding through like a grocery store ninja is the name of the game 🛒💨 Who has time for precision when you can live life on the edge and risk setting off the 'unexpected item in the bagging area' alarm for that adrenaline rush? 😂 #LifeIntheFastLane"

carefully, humor, items, line, never, people, scan, self-checkout, shopping, stealing, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2014 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,176

Funny Quotes Topics

14,932

Funny Quotes Images

12,176

3 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Spotted on Threads:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Just landed via WeChat:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Reported on Facebook:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Going viral on YouTube:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

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