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Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect blend of gratitude and existential crisis. 🚗😂 Remember, it's always nice to be polite, even when life tries to run you over!"

appreciation, car, hit, humor, ID, kind, kind stranger, life, me, perspective, point, say, stranger, thank, thank you, where

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Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

1 month ago
change, drinking, dry, Dry January, February, fun, humor, January, month, play, play on words, seasonal, seasonal change, sopping, Sopping Wet February, wet, words
Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

1 month ago
AI, AI writing, dash, em, em dash, grammar, humor, incoherence, incoherent, mean, please, punctuation, stop, too, us, work, writing
I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

1 month ago
activity, bathroom, clean, cleaning, crime, destroy, destroying, evidence, funny activity, humor, i, listening, podcast, pretend, true, true crime
I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

1 month ago
bad, bad choice, choice, choices, croc, Crocs, footwear, humor, i, life, never, pair
Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

1 month ago
activity, cat, cause, death, draw, drawing, eyebrows, funny activity, humor, neighbor, neighbors, trying
The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

1 month ago
being, end, family, food, forget, forgetfulness, hidden, hiding, humor, i, kid, me, parenting, parenting struggle, problem, snacks, struggle, too

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Breaking via Twitch:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Trending via Telegram:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

I woke up alive again.

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I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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