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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Going bananas on Discord:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Broadcasted on X:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Spotted on Reddit:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

3 months ago

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like the advertisers believe in the saying, "straight to the point!" 😂 Chin up, you're not alone in receiving personalized ads that hit a little too close to home. Maybe it's time to show those ads who's boss and indulge in a giant slice of pizza instead! 🍕 #ChinFatStruggles

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

2 months ago

another, aspiration, disappointment, finance, humor, humor quote, irony, me, money, rich, sarcasm, unexpectedly, wealth, week, weekly
I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

3 months ago

activity, better, busy, dance, family, humor, i, kids, laughter, plotting, revenge, shake, Shakira, wish
I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

5 months ago

else, humor, i, ID, identity, irony, personality, regret, self, somebody
Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

2 months ago

block, dating, getting-to-know-you, humor, interaction, just, me, phase, relationship, sarcasm, skip, social, social interaction
Time machine? You mean a clock?

2 months ago

clock, humor, joke, machine, misunderstanding, technology, time, time machine
Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, drama, extinct, humor, imagine, just, simplicity, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

94 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

10 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Spotted on WeChat:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Making waves on Telegram:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Spotted on Messenger:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

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