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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Going viral on X:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Live now on Threads:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Going viral on Reddit:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Making waves on TikTok:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Going viral on X:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Just shared via X:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Making waves on Telegram:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

3 months ago

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like the advertisers believe in the saying, "straight to the point!" 😂 Chin up, you're not alone in receiving personalized ads that hit a little too close to home. Maybe it's time to show those ads who's boss and indulge in a giant slice of pizza instead! 🍕 #ChinFatStruggles

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

2 months ago

confidence, feedback, humor, i, motivation, myself, negative, only, personal, self-talk, sometimes, talk
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

2 months ago

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting
I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

2 months ago

direction, every, GPS, hour, humor, i, joke, life, navigation, recalculation, technology, told
The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

6 months ago

barrier, Finland, humor, job, language, language barrier, me, moving, only, relocation, thing
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

2 months ago

avoidance, finance, humor, joke, loan, shark, specy
(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

1 week ago

conversation, fiction, guy, humor, know, me, next, none, novel, reading, right, seeing, skepticism

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

60 shares on Telegram this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

78 shares on Reddit this month:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Breaking via Slack:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Going viral on Slack:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just landed via Twitch:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Spotted on Threads:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

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