Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Spotted on X:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Making waves on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Just shared via Instagram:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Trending via Twitch:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If only life came with an 'out of order' sign option for those particularly glitchy individuals 🚫🤖😆 #WarningLabelNeeded"

favor, forehead, humor, order, people’s, sign, sticking, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

0

2 months ago

able, age, all nighter, body, change, exhaustion, humor, nighter, pull, same, sleep, used
Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

0

2 months ago

beat, boy, humor, i, joke, overwhelming, piñata, playful, stick, teasing, urge
I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

0

2 months ago

boat, comedy, dead, dead to me, guest, guest star, humor, i, irritation, love, me, relationships, sarcasm, show, star, The Love Boat, TV, TV Show, wake, wake up, woke
Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

0

4 weeks ago

bank, bar, feel, feel poor, finance, gold, gold bar, humor, money, poor, should, touch, wealth
Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

0

3 months ago

bro, casual, casual conversation, confess, confession, conversation, humor, love, love confession, me, playful, relationship, romance
My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

0

2 months ago

dating, end, era, humor, ID, participant, relationship, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

15 shares on X this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨