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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Just landed via Discord:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Just shared via Reddit:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Making waves on YouTube:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Story of my life! 🍕🍩🥨 Snacks are life's way of saying 'I got you, girl!' 😄🍪 #SnackQueen"

another, craving, desire, food, fun, girl, humor, just, looking, search, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

5 months ago

actually, dating, girl, girls, guy, guys, honesty, humor, just, love, nice, nice guy, personality, relationship, think
If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

2 months ago

cougher, flight, flight delay, hold, humor, joke, mouth, open, open mouth, plane, travel, waiting
Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

2 months ago

animals, crossing, entitlement, family, goose, humor, nature, nothing, road, sarcasm
Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

2 months ago

everything, fat, humor, joke, leave, me, weight
I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

2 months ago

attractive, care, confidence, humor, me, mosquito, opinion, people, personal, perspective, self-esteem
My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

6 months ago

delusion, favorite, humor, i, just, motivation, need, optimism, procrastination, stress, through, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on TikTok this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Windmill? Big fan.

Making waves on Telegram:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Shared recently on Telegram:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Live now on Twitch:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨