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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Live now on Instagram:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Trending via WeChat:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Spotted on YouTube:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Going bananas on X:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Funny quote about self-deprecating humor and life's wit displayed in bright text.
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Commentary:
"Life may be a joke, but hey, at least you're the comedian 🤪 Keep those punchlines coming and remember to laugh your way through the chaos! 😂🎭"

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

51 shares on Reddit this month:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Spotted on WeChat:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Breaking via Discord:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Going viral on WeChat:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going viral on Instagram:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Just shared via WeChat:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

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