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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

44 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Broadcasted on X:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Jan 20, 2025

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a tent when you've got a cozy bed and a roof over your head? 🏠😴 Camping is just nature's way of saying 'Hey, remember how good you have it at home?' 🌲⛺️ Maybe roughing it just means you forgot to set the thermostat to your preferred temperature 😉❄️ #IndoorCampingFTW"

camping, discomfort, humor, i, mortgage, nature, outside, pay, preferences, sleep, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

44 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Going viral on X:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Just shared via Reddit:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Reported on Messenger:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Making waves on X:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Spotted on Threads:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

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