Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Making waves on Discord:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Making waves on TikTok:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Making waves on X:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Making waves on Threads:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Shared recently on TikTok:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Making waves on Reddit:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Witty quote about aging and honesty with a playful, humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't fake it anymore – my 'pretend to like you' days are behind me, just like my ability to pull an all-nighter without feeling it the next day. 😜👵 #KeepingItReal #NoFilter"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

You are the Monday of my life.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

22 shares on Slack this month:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Making waves on Telegram:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Spotted on Telegram:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Going viral on X:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Going bananas on Threads:

Your opinions are not my business.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

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