Commentary:
“Sorry, I can’t fake it anymore – my ‘pretend to like you’ days are behind me, just like my ability to pull an all-nighter without feeling it the next day. 😜👵 #KeepingItReal #NoFilter”
I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.
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Trending Funny Quotes 👇
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Commentary:
“Ah, the vicious cycle of stress! It’s like stressing about stressing – stress-ception! 🌀 Just when you think you’ve got it under control, stress pops up to say ‘Surprise!’ 🤯 Don’t stress about stressing about stress…or do you? 🤔 Let’s find some stress relief for your stressed-out stress! 💆♂️” -
Commentary:
“Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let’s just hope this ‘Friendship with Benefits’ doesn’t come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy” -
Commentary:
“From apple munching to homicide in record time 🍎🔪😅 Clearly, things went from 0 to 100 real quick in the Bible! It’s like going from mild snacking to serious crime spree in just a couple of chapters. Talk about a plot twist! 😂” -
Commentary:
“Who needs a crystal ball when your cell phone battery can predict imminent doom with such accuracy? Forget storm clouds or ominous signs – the real sign of impending disaster is that dreaded low battery warning!” -
Commentary:
Ah, a rebel in polite society, I see! 🎩😏 “I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully” – well, isn’t that quite the gentlemanly insult! Clearly, good manners don’t stand a chance around you! 🤣🎩🤝 #SassySir -
Commentary:
“Ah, the delicate art of balancing gratitude and entitlement – like a seesaw of emotions! 🙏🏼➡️😈 Just remember, too much thankfulness might lead to a sugar rush of positivity! 🍭 Today, let the ungratefulness and entitlement flow like a river of sarcasm! 💁🏻♂️💅🏼”