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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Threads:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Making waves on Reddit:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Just shared via Reddit:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Live now on Telegram:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

2 months ago

0

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet relief of autumn – the season when our internet feed is gracefully saved from the pesky invasion of toes and flip-flops! 🍁🍂 No more awkward encounters with unsuspecting feet, just cozy socks and pumpkin spice vibes ahead! 😄👣 #FallFeels"

feet, glad, humor, i, internet, over, preference, seasonal, summer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

0

4 months ago

activity, fly, fly kite, glad, humor, kite, nostalgia, over, past, past activity, people, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, used
We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

0

2 months ago

architect, Christmas, decoration, holiday, humor, i, joke, knows, leaning, leaning tower, Pisa, tower, tree, wife, working, yesterday
Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

0

5 months ago

food, humor, over, personality, plate, real, sharing, someone, take
May the algorithms be with you.

0

4 months ago

algorithm, geek, geek humor, humor, pun, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

0

2 months ago

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence
Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

0

2 months ago

activity, circle, exercise, flipping, gasp, gesture, humor, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, running, sarcasm, track, vultures

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

21 shares on Threads this month:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

35 shares on Threads this month:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like ads, just skip.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,280

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Spotted on Threads:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Spotted on TikTok:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Seen just now on Threads:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Trending via Telegram:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Broadcasted on X:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Going viral on X:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Going viral on Threads:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

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