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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Just landed via YouTube:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Trending via Slack:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Just shared via Discord:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Making waves on Reddit:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Shared recently on X:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Witty quote about aging and coffee habits with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the daring and rare act of sipping coffee from an ancient artifact known as a 'real cup.' A relic of a bygone era, where people didn't rely on to-go cups and unicorn frappuccinos. ☕️🦖 #OldSchoolSips"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

50 shares on Slack this month:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

54 shares on X this month:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

For whom the Fetty Waps.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,753

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Breaking via Messenger:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Spotted on Discord:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Going bananas on Facebook:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Spotted on YouTube:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Just shared via Discord:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Trending via Snapchat:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Live now on Telegram:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

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