Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"🐶 Who needs a human emergency contact when you have a loyal furry friend ready to fetch help at a moment's notice? Single life level: Expert. 😂"

contact, dog, emergency, emergency contact, humor, i, loneliness, me, neighbor, neighbors, put, relationship, single

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44 shares on Twitch this month:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

81 shares on Threads this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

45 shares on Threads this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

36 shares on X this month:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

91 shares on X this month:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

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Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

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Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Just shared via YouTube:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Going bananas on Slack:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Just landed via TikTok:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Making waves on Telegram:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Live now on Twitch:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Shared recently on X:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Just landed via Discord:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Going viral on X:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨