Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"🐶 Who needs a human emergency contact when you have a loyal furry friend ready to fetch help at a moment's notice? Single life level: Expert. 😂"

contact, dog, emergency, emergency contact, humor, i, loneliness, me, neighbor, neighbors, put, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

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2 months ago

ball, frustration, humor, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
It’s strange being the same age as old people.

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2 months ago

age, being, humor, irony, old, old people, people, perspective, same, strange
I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

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1 month ago

addiction, coping, coping mechanism, humor, life, me, mechanism, smoking, stop, stress, weed
Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

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2 months ago

anxiety, attack, calm, emergency, grocery, grocery store, health, mental, mental health, panic, people, situation, situations, store, surety, trauma
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

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2 months ago

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests
I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

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2 months ago

contradiction, humor, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, preferences, self-awareness, social

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

35 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just shared via WeChat:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Just shared via TikTok:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Making waves on Snapchat:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Just shared via YouTube:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Just shared via Reddit:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Spotted on X:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨