I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.