Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"

better, confidence, doing, hate, here, humor, imagine, irony, job, just, me, much, myself, over, sarcasm, self-hate, self-improvement

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38 shares on Instagram this month:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

53 shares on Facebook this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Just landed via Messenger:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Just landed via YouTube:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Wordgag ツ

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Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

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Wordgag ツ

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Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨